Tips on How to Control Anger : We all get angry at some point, because anger is one of our primary emotions, which we quickly experience from our earliest childhood, and sadly with which we have to deal with almost all our lives, as much as this emotion is unpleasant.
Anger helps us to react, for example, to what we perceive as an injustice because, in general, we want to choose something better for ourselves. As long as it is treated with respect, without aggressiveness, hostility, or lack of control, anger is a natural response, and yet continuous and excessive anger is harmful, for all kinds of social dynamics and especially for our relationship as a couple.
When we are angry, we tend to say more easily what comes to mind because of it, and the worst thing is that sometimes we do it in a very negative (even rude) way. Sometimes it happens that in reality, it is magnified in the heat of an argument, and therefore we end up hurting it.
Fortunately, there are techniques you can learn to manage your anger response and control it appropriately, thereby effectively avoiding confrontations with negative results.
Tips on How to Control Anger : 1) First, know yourself
Notice the signs that you are starting to get angry; for example, if you feel very hot and heavy breathing, or typical behaviors that show anger, such as raising your voice or using sudden and threatening gestures towards your partner. These signs are the starting point for your anger to get out of control.
2) Be aware of when you are angry and take responsibility for it
In the same way, be aware of the situations in which you have the easiest to get angry, such as lateness in your partner, or certain topics of conversation that are in themselves already conflictive, since you must know the contexts in which it may be easier for you to be angry.
Sometimes it is not the situation itself that is responsible for your anger, but your anger appears for things that have to do only with you and not with your partner, such as your expectations, impatience, demand, or tiredness.
In these cases, the only way to face your anger is by being responsible for discovering what is happening to you and deciding how you are going to handle it, since we must be aware that no one should pay because of our bad mood.
3) Control your anger response right now
If you are already aware of the signs and situations that irritate you the most, you have taken a great step.
Now do not allow them to get out of control, if necessary, take a moment to control yourself and think, get out of where you are and distract yourself with music, a movie or a new hobby, and stop your anger right now, so that it does not advance and don’t hurt your partner.
4) Use relaxation technique
Breathe deeply, relax your muscles, focus on your breathing, and think of something that will help you relax, such as a calm landscape is an excellent option.
At first, it will be very difficult to use relaxation techniques at those times, but with practice, you can use it as a mechanism to mitigate your anger and focus on resolving conflicts in a calm and well thought-out way.
5) Don’t fall into selfish and irrational thoughts
Rigid ideas of the type “my partner must agree with me on everything” or “my opinion is always the best” since they are very harmful, to any social relationship, and also totally unreal, because no one can be absolutely right.
We must try to be flexible when it comes to thinking, since we can have opposite opinions to those of our partner (since we are two different people), and that does not have to be a reason for discussion and fights.