Love and Affection: We know that being parents makes us more vulnerable, with fears and longing to see our children grow and be happy. No matter what obstacle is in front of us, we have no choice but to overcome it to make them feel good. Being a parent is looking at the wonders of life, learning that children are a mirror that reflects what we give them.
Despite the great love we have for our children and our efforts to give them a life full of satisfaction and joy, on some occasions, we do not make them happy. Maybe it’s because no one has taught us to be parents or because we believe that giving them everything they want will be enough to make them smile.
Unfortunately, with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, some parents take it for granted that if their children have what they need, it is a sign that they are happy. But in reality, what children need more than ever is quality time spent with their parents, than anything else material.
Love and Affection: Parenting, a game we must learn
It is not enough to give children a good education, a living roof, food, clothes, and toys; Since parenting is more than that, it is about giving them affection, attention, care, love, and unconditional support. It is being there, at the right moment, anticipating their needs and making them feel that they are capable of conquering the entire world by themselves. Wow, it sounds simple, but it’s not!
However, we can identify some signs that children need more love and affection and not only the material things that we can offer them. Knowing how to identify those signs on time will be a way to ensure that our efforts as parents are going in the right direction.
1) Fear of abandonment
It is normal for a young child between 8 and 14 months of age to cry when his mother leaves him for an instant, even if they are in the same house. But when this fear continues after the indicated age, it can be a sign that the child needs more love and attention. This fear is presented with anguish, beginning a strong dependence on the loved one, and any indication of separation increases a dose of anxiety, so the child continues throughout his life looking for the affection and care he did not have during his childhood.
Children are generally very anxious when one of their parents doesn’t come home, in a matter of seconds, they panic and build negative thoughts around the delay. They often think that they had an accident or that they got sick or died.
Some physical symptoms even appear like stomach pain, vomiting, frequent nightmares, fear of the dark, and permanent restlessness. In these cases, it is important to communicate with our children to tell them that they should not be afraid of being alone since they will be rewarded with a lot of love and attention when they get home.
2) Get the attention of adults
Children are naughty because of their innate nature of learning, exploring, and experiencing new things, as it is the way of learning. However, when children have inappropriate behaviors, aggressive behaviors, without measuring the consequences of their actions, they are indicating that they need more love and affection from their parents.
It’s like saying, “Here I am, listen to me.” Sometimes, the limits parents set are not enough for their children to understand the dangers they may face, and that is why they try to challenge them.
3) Permanent sadness
When children are consistently apathetic, angry, and sad, it’s a sign that they need more attention from their parents. It is not enough to provide them with the material things they need to be well, but they are asking for attention and more quality time with their parents.
They are children who easily lose interest in things, often even lose their appetite, and prefer to be isolated without any coexistence. In this case, it will be important to find the root cause of sadness so that you can work on those aspects that provoke your attitude.
4) Becomes more aggressive
They are usually very violent, react defensively in any circumstance, do not listen to reasons, and ignore the rules. In general, they will use inappropriate languages and will have negative thoughts. This type of behavior may be a sign that they need more attention from their parents, as they are trying to get their attention in one way or another.
5) Low school performance
Many times they believe that their parents are so busy with other things, that their problems are not important and that is why they stop motivating themselves to have good grades. They are trying to get your attention to help and support you; They need your love and affection to regain their motivation.
Parents must be attentive to these signs, since if we let them pass, they can generate serious consequences such as depression, low self-esteem, even up to self-injury or death. Try to make an effort, and try to spend more time with your children, live with them, get to know them and learn from them. Remember that all you need is quality time, love, and nothing else.