Forgiveness in Marriage: Forgiveness not only heals our hearts; it heals relationships. Often, we think of forgiveness as something we need for big things–but it’s those little things that can lead to resentfulness and bitterness, especially toward your spouse.
Forgiveness in marriage is necessary to have a healthy relationship.
We have some key tips to help getting started to forgiveness in marriage.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice.
Most often we may not feel like forgiving and want to want to harbor the anger and hurt and make our partner pay for what they have done has done. But, you have to make a decision to give forgiveness; you can begin to work through those feelings.
When you spouse has apologized and asked for forgiveness, you need to talk about the matter before you move on. It might be uncomfortable, but you need to share how you feel. Don’t point a finger; just share how you feel so he’ll understand the depth of your hurt. Make sure you feel heard before you move on.
Plan for change.
The goal here is not to punish with requirements, but to set up guidelines that you both agree to. That way, you will avoid future disagreements of the same issue. Also you will be able to make more mature and reasonable judgment
Stop the video.
Do not replay your husband’s infraction over and over again in your mind. When your mind starts to wander and you begin to dwell on the incident and the hurt it caused you, tell yourself to stop. It’s one thing to need to talk to someone like a pastor or a counselor about your pain so you can move past it, but it’s another when you keep inflicting the pain on yourself by dwelling on the hurt.
Deciding to truly forgive your husband is re-committing to your relationship. Don’t sabotage that re-commitment by focusing on the negative.
Give yourself time to heal
Just deciding to forgive will not strip away all of the pain. It’s natural to feel raw and disappointed. Go back to step 4 when you need to, and keep choosing to forgive.