Fix Marriage Today: Many good marriages slip into crisis because we don’t or won’t believe how much work it takes to keep relationships healthy and thriving. It’s just like when you stop investing in the house you are living in. It will easily fall into disrepair.
Think back to when you first started to pursue your spouse. It required commitment, hard work, and imagination. Marriage requires such commitment.
Here are some keys points on how to fix your marriage today.
You need to make a decision to love.
Love may have come easy when it was brand new. Love is as much a choice as it is an emotion. Choice is an act of maturity and it has a much better track record than emotion left to make its way on its own.
Act as if your spouse’s happiness is more important than your own.
Putting our spouse first nurtures trust, gratitude, generosity, and affection. It can also lead to physical intimacy.
Put the relationship ahead of everything
It’s unfortunate, but time has a way of eating away at our priorities. “You’re the most important thing in my life” gives way to “my work… the family business…the children… my aging parents… even golf, football or drinking…” Marriages don’t work well when our partner plays second fiddle to anything – even the children. It’s a fact – the happiest kids are those with parents who love one-another best.
Start over from scratch.
Ask her out. Make sure you remember why you did the first time and build from there. When did you last talk for hours, hold hands at a movie, or give her a kiss when she wasn’t expecting it? Get silly about one-another. If you don’t feel like it, do it anyway- then you’ll remember why.
Stop taking one-another for granted.
Say “thank you” for that cup of coffee. Celebrate obscure anniversaries. Tell her how much it means to you that she cooks a great meal – or vice versa. Notice the haircut. Ask her out. Clean her car. Pay attention to the little things and act like someone who values the relationship.
Pray for your spouse.
Chances are you started your marriage with both promises and prayers. Pray for your spouse, and ask for guidance as you pledge to make the kind of effort that simply won’t float without turning to God every day.
Surround yourselves with people in healthy relationships.
Some of those negative patterns may have involved friends. Surround yourself with people who value marriage and where there’s widespread support for making yours work.
You say you can’t afford it? Believe us, it’s cheaper than divorce. Most counseling simply involves a few sessions to get the communication flowing again. For guys, a willingness to talk in that context sends a huge, positive message to your spouse.