Change in relationship:
Relationships naturally endure many changes, whether it’s moving, starting a new job, spending time apart, getting married or having children. While some changes can be difficult, there’s no need to see change as a bad thing. By being adaptive and communicating regularly, you and your partner can endure changes in your relationship.
You need to lead from the front when it comes to change because you can’t change your partner. Change yourself and your view about your relationship will change. Here are a couple of points about change:
Change your view on change.
Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing and many positive things can result from change. There’s no need to assume the worst when change comes along. Instead, think of what positive things may result from change
Accept that you may be seeing your partner differently.
If you feel like your partner has all of a sudden changed especially for the worst, consider that your partner always had these traits, but you’re seeing him or her differently now. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you may see your partner in a different light, and it may not always be pleasant. You may not want to immediate blame your partner for the changes and instead, recognize that your perception may have changed.
Also find ways to cope with your feelings of annoyance or upset, such as learning to tune out behaviors or taking deep breaths.
Allow for your differences.
Sometimes one partner may change a viewpoint that changes the relationship, like about marriage or having kids. Don’t take differences in views or beliefs personally.
Just because you and your partner have different views doesn’t mean that one is attacking the other. It doesn’t mean that your approach is lesser than and there doesn’t have to be a “best” and “worse.” It just means that you disagree, and it’s okay to accept those differences.
Take some time off.
If the change causes confusion or strong emotions, take some time away from each other and away from arguing. Make sure that you agree on the amount of time and that you use the time to think about the problem. Simply taking time away from each other will not solve the problem.
Do some digging and ask yourself why this change affects you so much. Is there something the change is triggering? Are there fears or worries? Figure out what is upsetting you or filling you with fear.
Keep your relationship in mind.
When faced with changes, remind yourself how much you value your partner and your relationship. How much are you willing to let the changes affect your relationship? For example, if your partner gets a new job across the country, you may feel upset with him or her. Keep in mind your relationship and respond in ways that show that you are prioritizing your relationship.
Prioritizing the Relationship in Times of Change.
When you are faced with changes, it is impossible to know what might happen and trying to identify and think about every detail of a situation can be paralyzing. Instead, prepare as well as you reasonably can for a situation, and then take a step back. Deal with the challenges that come your way one at a time and be flexible enough to adapt as needed.
See a therapist.
You may come to a point where you realize that your relationship needs intervention and therapy may be necessary to deal with the changes. A couple’s counselor can help you and partner improve your communication, and state your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in truthful and meaningful ways. Especially in periods of transition and change, therapy can be an invaluable tool for getting through challenging times.
